Checking in on a cadet

Posted on Fri Jan 17th, 2025 @ 8:03pm by Cadet Third Class Aarfa Barakzay & Commander Raiden Kosugi

Mission: The Gamma Expanse
Location: XO Office
1400 words - 2.8 OF Standard Post Measure

After he had spoken to Callisi and early on he had spoken to Pallas, Raiden felt he needed to check on the other cadet that was assigned to the ship, and that was Cadet Aarfa Barakzay. Tapping on his commbadge Raiden sent out a message. "Cadet Barakzay would you come to my office please."

"Aye, sir," came the immediate reply and within the fairly short time it took someone fast even by Kainan standards to traverse the distance, she was at his door. Aarfa took only an additional moment to take a settling breath, and to smooth her uniform and her fur, before activating the door chime.

The door opened once Raiden called out "Enter" and the dark haired man rose from his seat and stepped from behind his desk.

"Please, have a seat." Raiden motioning to one him taking another. ""How have things been for you?"

Aarfa took the indicated seat, and a moment to think of how to answer. It was unthinkable to be less than honest to the Commander, but at the same time he was not a Counselor and did not need to hear more than what spoke to her state of readiness, which was probably all he wanted to know. "Like many others, I have had difficulty sleeping. I had been having nightmares before this, things related to ...what happened with The Trinity. But this is different. The dreams are ...strange; disturbing in a way different from the memories that make the other nightmares." She glanced aside, took a deliberate breath, then straightened and lifted her chin. "However, I learned to cope with night terrors after SB621 and my kind can function on short stretches of sleep. These will not keep me from performing my duties."

"I didn't think it would keep you from your duties at all." Raiden responded with a gentle expression in his eyes. "If you don't nind, what sort of dreams have you been having?" Raiden rather interested.

She nodded thanks for his belief in her; it meant a lot given that others sometimes seemed to tread cautiously around her, as if she might crumble at the wrong word. Which made it difficult to decline sharing her dreams. Taking a breath, she thought about how to explain them to a humanoid. "It's hard to define what sort of dreams these are. I find myself in a maze of shadowy passages, but not ship or station corridors - the walls are rough, worn... it's hard to make out more because it's so dark, dark even to my night vision, and there's no scent. None. It's as if I'm completely nose-blind..." she swallowed, suppressing a shudder "...but I feel that someone, or something, is watching me... stalking... hunting..."

She relaxed hands that has tensed, pushing that disquieting image aside and taking refuge in the psychological analysis she had learned all too well by now. "Except for the lack of scent, it's a variation on a classic nightmare - being hunted. My people are the apex predators on our world, but only by dint of intelligence and cooperation. There are animals in the wild that can hunt us, especially if we are alone and unarmed - something every pup is warned about as soon as they are old enough to want to explore the wilds on their own."

Raiden gave a nod. "Those type of dreams can happen for any species. For my people the Oni at times do hunt us." he giving a nod of understanding. "I had a vivid dream that of someone hunting me as well. It isn't a pleasant feeling."

"It is not," she agreed fervently. Then tipped her head to the side in a way that bore uncanny resemblance to earth canines faced with something unexpected. "If I may ask, sir, was that a recent dream?"

"The dream happened a little while ago, however it haunts me from time to time. It was a vivid dream wherein I killed someone who had been chasing me, thankfully it wasn't true but it was rather real and I felt the pain from the attacks." Raiden sharing only a small tidbit of that horrendous experience.

At least you engaged pursuer and killed them.... She didn't say it. Humans did not always share Kainan attitudes toward such scenarios. "I think at this ppint I'd almost welcome feeling the pain of an attack. The sense of being pursued with no way to know by whom or what is ...unsettling. Like being haunted."

Giving an understanding nod. Raiden commented, "Yes, that is a disturbing sensation to have. Have you been able to talk to someone and figure out if that is from childhood memories?"

Aarfa shook her head. "It seems like everyone is having similar issues, so Counseling has been busy. But I can't recall having this nightmare before, even as child."

"Could it have been triggered by our involvement in dealing with the Trinity? I read a report of you rescuing some of your former crew members while on that planet. Have you heard from them lately?" That was certainly something he was wanting to know. " I do understand that counseling has been busy, especially since our chief counselor had left. I am available to talk with though." Raiden giving a slight smile.

"Maybe... I haven't heard from my former crew since leaving the station though. We talked while we were there, initially, but they... have a lot to work through and I... was set apart, as witness, or just..." her ears flattened briefly, "...too much like an animal to be 'worthy' of proper sacrifice." She shook her head, though the XO had just kindly offered to let her talk things through, it didn't seem right to spill all of that on him. "In any case, they saw more terror and horror than I did, and I may have had some role in their rescue, but that kind of thing... it binds a pack, forms a bond among those who only had each other for support through it." It didn't matter that she would have gladly flayed her own pelt off to have been with them. It was strange to think it, but she envied them, not just for the pack bond was now an outsider to, but because however horrible it had been they'd had each other, while she had been locked away, alone... "Though as I think of that, the closest I've come before to something like these nightmares was when I was locked into that compartment, alone on a dying ship, feeling as though impending madness was searching for a way in."

"Dying ship, like what happened to the Gladiator when we found her with... you upon the ship and Edruj was there as well. It has been awhile since I had even thought of that." Raiden leaned back crossing his arms over his chest, remembering the details. "That was eerie to find the Gladiator like that."

Not as eerie as being on it, Aarfa thought, but did not voice. "I truly wish I'd been able to sense Edruj there. Not being isolated, alone," she suppressed a shudder, "would've helped immensely."

"I do agree with you there, that would have helped greatly. Aarfa, if you ever need to talk things over with someone feel free to talk with me. Are you being able to make connections with the rest of the crew or is that still a work in progress?" Raiden shifting in his seat.

She inclined her head politely. "Thank you. It always takes some time to integrate into an established pa- ...er, crew." Especially when you aren't quite feeling like yourself... "But I have made friends, particularly Cadet Pallas and Ensign Mishra."

"Ensign Mishra, Ensign Mishra." a furrow formed in Raiden's brow. "Oh!" remembering the report he had read. "Ah yes, he seems to be doing better now." his face clearing up. "Hopefully you will be able to get to know others of the crew as well."

"We went fishing together. It was very relaxing," she replied, then straightened in her seat. "I will make a better effort to get to know the others."

"It would be appreciated." Raiden giving a nod of approval. "You probably are needing to get back to your duties and I appreciate you coming in. You are dismissed, and also hope that things will get better for you."