Perplexion [Part Two]
Posted on Wed Jan 31st, 2024 @ 10:39pm by Commander Raiden Kosugi & Commander Liala Ziyal
Edited on on Wed Jan 31st, 2024 @ 10:42pm
Mission:
Memphis Island
Location: Memphis Island
Timeline: During Shore Leave
2797 words - 5.6 OF Standard Post Measure
His hands were warm, a little sweaty but that was alright as the feel of his skin on hers did make her happy no matter how small a connection it was. Liala could feel his want, his need, and the fact his eyes dropped down and back to her lips did not go unnoticed by her. For a moment she bit her bottom lip to tease him. "Oh, food wise? Okay." she smiled at him. "Something hot maybe?" she teased once more. "Something sensual, full of flavour and with a big finish?"
Raiden got lost in her eyes and the way that Liala bit her lip. What else she said was lost for the moment, then it slowly registered.
"Liala, I-" he took a deep breath. "You are so remarkable. And yes... what you just said." he gave a little bit of a chuckle.
and now the continuation
Raiden was in a quandary, so far they've had moments and definitely moments of intimacy, just, where will this all lead? Where would Liala like this to lead to? What would he have to offer to her?
The feelings Liala felt swell in Raiden were unquestionable but still, in there, was uncertainty. A hard feeling to describe and most of all pick out in a crowd of others. Sometimes she wished she could switch off the empathic ability but sadly one cannot switch off an inherent part of oneself.
"It helps to be in such a receptive company." she blushed. "And I wouldn't want to be down here with anyone else."
Raiden gave a bit of a nod, feeling his heart rate pick up once again. Right now it seemed that words were failing him. He moved his hand to pick up the glass of water that had been placed upon the table, and to take a sip of it. Well maybe it was more of a gulp or two, almost emptying it. He set it down. "Sorry, for some reason I am a bit nervous tonight."
"Why? she asked with some concern. "We've done this plenty of times and I'd hate to think you were nervous around me." she took both his hands in hers and smiled at him. They'd done plenty for them to not be nervous around each other. Hells, seeing each other naked would alleviate most of those feelings, unless this was something else.
Liala looked deeply into his eyes, "Are you okay?" she rubbed one of her thumbs on the top of his hand for comfort.
Raiden took comfort in Liala's touch, and her gaze. "I've been doing some soul searching, wondering what sort of man I truly am. Am I a Don Juan, or a Casanova or something else? Do I treat women like playthings?" he gave out a slight huff. "These are questions that have come up in my mind as of late."
Liala sat up straighter as he asked the questions out loud. "Without knowing who those people are..." she began a little shakily. Thoughts fired through her mind, was he bringing her here to say he was seeing someone else? That he wanted to stop seeing her?
She tried to keep her heart from beating out of her chest but even in her attempt you could see it under her clothing. "Do you feel like you treat me like a plaything? Are there... others...?" Was all she could say.
Raiden was quiet for a moment, his mind racing a thousand miles a minute, it stopped abruptly when he heard Liala's question. "Liala I can say very honestly, you are the only one I've been with intimately, very intimately on the ship. Just that something had come to light that has been making me question my own personality. And the way I interact with the ladies. Do I lead the ladies on? Do I set them up for a heartbreak?"
"Well that all depends on if you are setting me up to break my heart, Raiden." Liala replied maybe all too honestly. "I don't feel you've led me on, but what has made you question yourself?" she asked.
Raiden shook his head, "No I haven't asked you to this romantic setting to break your heart." Raiden realizing how his words were affecting Liala. " Just that I hadn't seen you in awhile and wished to spend time with you."
Raiden was interrupted by the appearance of their waiter, to get their order. Raiden before, he had an appetite, but now he was feeling like he was losing his appetite. He ordered a salad and some soup along with some bread. As well as a wine that would go well with what he was eating.
"That's what I want as well. To be in your company." Liala replied to Raiden's words of wanting to spend time together. It made her days seem a little lighter when she knew he was going to be in them.
She too made a quick order of some pasta and wine.
"But what's made you question yourself like this?" she asked, more counsellory that she would have liked but sometimes she couldn't help it. it was also genuine concern and caring for him that made her press.
Once the waiter left with their order, Raiden answered Liala. "I don't know if you've met Eira Cortez, the Chief of Operations. Well maybe you have. Anyway, she's no longer on the ship, she's left and I had gotten a viewscreen message from her. Come to find out that she had requested for me to not be notified of her leaving until after she had left." he turned his gaze down to look at his silverware which had been wrapped in cloth he opening it up. Then he looked back up at Liala.
"I found out that she has strong feelings for me, I had no clue. I found out I have some feelings for her" he held up a hand for he could continue."Liala, even if I have feelings for her I certainly have stronger feelings for you." He lowered his hand and started to play with the fork. "I had spoken to David after I had found out about Eira having left. And our conversation truly led me to wonder about myself."
Liala listened, it was what she was trained to do but also it was part of who she was to listen to those in need and try and help them through whatever it was that dampened their spirit. She opened the napkin that contained her cutlery and thought of her reply.
She had met Eira, spoken to her many times in fact when she was XO and even after but she had no idea of her feelings towards Raiden. Why would she? "For all the time that I have known you Raiden you have been nothing but a gentleman who truly cares for those he is with. You have treated me with nothing but respect, kindness and courtesy and that speaks a lot to you as a person and how you've grown up as a child." she said. "Eira may have had feelings for you, but she didn't act on them and that is her choice. For you to question yourself because of someone else's actions, actions you are not at fault for, is not fair on you." she paused and took a small nibble of her pasta.
"Having feelings for others can be normal. Human's are very emotional in how you are as a species and in how you feel connected to each other is part of what makes you who you are. David and I may have had feelings for each other too but it never did lead anywhere." she admitted to him. It may have been a surprise, but it was one that was akin to Eira. In truth it was one of the reasons she chose to leave her role as XO, but she hadn't told anyone that.
"It may have been something like, she couldn't, wouldn't let anyone get close to her due to something that happened in the past, and it was the same with me as I sort of closed myself off after that well, 'encounter' where the former intelligence person was concerned. I actually spoke to Eira about that. Just I think that even though there was chemistry there it just wasn't enough. Granted, and it was something that she and I had spoken of, including some what ifs. Its just that my path has gone in a different direction and the same for hers."
Raiden picked up his spoon to begin eating, as the waiter had quietly brought over their food, then left as quietly as he had come.
"How you see me does make me feel better, Liala. I just don't like to hurt anyone, I simply refuse to play with someone's affections. it just isn't how I am wired. I do know there are times when I do need to gently let someone know that I am just wanting to be friends. It pains me to say that I've had to do something like that a few times." Raiden lifted up his spoon then clarified what he had just said. "Liala, I don't want to be 'just' friends with you, though."
Liala remembered their talk about the intelligence officer. It was a harrowing experience, one that would leave a mark on anyone but he was moving forward, past it and that was good. To say he was over it would be premature as triggers are often well seen and planned for.
"I don't think anyone likes to hurt anyone, especially in matters of the heart. Sometimes you set out with the best of intentions, the first few meetings or months are amazing, raw and new, but after a while you realise that you don't share the interests of the person that you thought, you don't gel as well as you'd hoped and the other may not realise. Hurt in that case is inevitable one way or another. Either you hurt by staying in a relationship that suffocates you and makes you unhappy, or you choose to break away and hurt the other. Sometimes it just can't be helped and you need to know that Raiden. You are a sweet and caring man, I feel that from you every day, every time I see you. Sometimes your worry about honour gets in the way of what you need to do but I understand that from a different perspective." she smiled. "I am glad you don't want to be 'just friends', after your performance in bed a few nights ago sitting near you on the bridge would have been awkward for a couple of months." She teased.
Raiden could feel his face heat up at Liala mentioning his performance. "Yes well..." he stammered out. "It would be awkward most definitely." giving a bashful chuckle. "David does know that we're seeing each other now. And it took me a little bit to figure out that at one time, you and he were seeing each other. I can be a bit slow at times to figure things out." Raiden, then spooned up some of his soup, smiling closed mouth while he chewed, looking affectionately at Liala.
"Well luckily for you Raiden, I have all the time in the universe." Liala replied, and hinted to her species. "Or as much time as I am able to have you in my life." she reached across and gave his hand a small squeeze before retreating and taking a bite of her own food.
Raiden gave a nod and a smile.
For the most part, the rest of the meal was eaten in relative and yet companionable silence. Gazes exchanged, between bites a caress or two. Raiden for the most part was at a loss for words being there with Liala. Raiden wanted to finish his meal, and then walk along the beach to hold Liala's hand. The waiter came to refill glasses, and take away the dirty dishes.
He even asked, "Would there be anything else, such as dessert?"
Raiden glanced at Lila, giving a gentle smile, "Lady's choice" he stated.
"Something light?" Liala asked rhetorically. "How about some hot chocolate fudge cake? With cream or ice cream?" she asked that last part to Raiden as she'd chosen the main body of the dessert she wanted him to pick the side if he liked.
"Ice cream please," Raiden replied with a smile. He had a weakness for chocolate cake with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. "Something I like a lot. When I allow myself to indulge. And its been awhile since I've had that dessert."
The waiter gave a nod and headed off to get the dessert order.
"Well we are basically in paradise. If you can't indulge and spoil yourself here then where can you?" Liala asked rhetorically. "I have to admit I'm a sucker for chocolate, almost as much as Betazoids." she chuckled.
A bit of a smile crossed Raiden's face. "I will keep that in mind. "I've been in a state of mind, feeling perplexed as to what I can bring to our relationship, and what sort of relationship we have. Or am I just tying myself up in knots with that worry?"
Liala would have been lying if she said she hadn't sensed doubt in him, maybe a little confusion and worry. "I think you are tying yourself up in knots carina (sweetheart)." she said softly. "I can tell you that you bring me happiness, you make me feel safe, feel wanted. When you look at me I feel that I am all you see. You are sensitive and always try to look after others before yourself. As to what kind of relationship we have... what kind do you want?" she asked openly.
He looked deeply into Liala's blue eyes marveling at the color of them, they reminded him of the clear azure sky when he flew the historical planes. His ears turned a slight shade of pink.
He spoke softly, reaching out to take one of Liala's hands, feeling wonder at the softness of her hand and yet there was strength in it as well. "I would love to see your beautiful face first thing in the morning. I'd love to start the day with a kiss from your sweet tender lips. I love seeing the way you move, each step you take is like that of a dancer, moving effortlessly. Such grace, a pleasure to watch. I have to make certain not to outright stare." a soft smile became evident.
"You stare with more than your eyes Raiden." she squeezed his hand. Sometimes Human's only saw with their eyes and forgot about all the other senses. El Aurian's saw with so much more, sometimes even more than they realised themselves. "All of which you say sounds like a wonderful adventure, and one I cannot think of taking with anyone else."
"I don't know if you want to move in with me, or do you want to still have your own quarters, for you to have your own space? Would you consider this to soon to ask this of you? And yes, I have been staring at you in other ways. Listening to your voice, which is music to my ears, and catching the light scent of your perfume." he unabashedly answered.
"I think us moving in together is a lovely idea." Liala said simply to stop his babbling. She felt he was nervous, and this would hopefully quash that feeling in him. "Just need to see who has the bigger place... or are they the same?"
Raiden thought about something, he hadn't moved from his quarters he first had gotten on the Gladiator. Liala had the XO's quarters as he just didn't want to boot her out of there. His quarters were smaller than what she had. "Well, you know, I can move in with you, you have the bigger place complete with a full bathroom?" an impish smile coming into view.
"Oh so you just want me for my bathroom?" Liala teased. She knew he was right, he had never asked her to move out of the XO quarters. She would have happily, she hadn't been XO for a while, but the request never came and she got even more comfortable there.
Raiden gave a chuckle, "oh yes, that is definitely why I want to move in with you." giving a wink.
Just at that moment the waiter arrived with the dessert with two forks for them to share the chocolate cake.
"Lovely lady takes the first bite." Raiden replied lovingly.
"Definitely don't need to ask me twice." Liala replied with a grin and stuck her fork into the cake.