Transition

Posted on Tue Aug 23rd, 2022 @ 2:20am by Commander Liala Ziyal & Commander Raiden Kosugi

Mission: The Goddess
Location: Counselling Suite, USS Gladiator
2875 words - 5.8 OF Standard Post Measure

Liala's decision to step back from the First Officer role had been the right one for her. This led to the promotion of Raiden, one of her closest friends on the ship. It had been somewhat in the forefront of her mind that as she knew Raiden could be quite sensitive and intuitive that inviting him down to her new home away from quarters would be a good idea.

She wanted a nice conversation with him about his transition from Chief Flight Officer to XO, and hoped he wouldn't feel awkward as it was the position she had held not to long ago.

There was also the catch up element as well. Finding out how he had been coping with the dreams he'd had and if he was sleeping alright.

Raiden had been surprised at the message from Liala and smiled, he did want to speak with her, wanted to find out the answer of why she wasn't the executive officer anymore. Looking at the time, he debated on whether to wear his new Uniform, or wear his civvies. Raiden opted for his civvies, choosing a pair of blue jeans a red tee shirt with a long sleeve dark blue shirt over it, he also wore a pair of black runners. He arrived and rang the chime, to let Liala know that someone was there. When invited in, Raiden gave a soft smile. "Hello, Liala. How are things?"

"Well don't you just look lovely." Liala said as Raiden crossed the threshold of her new door. "I am fine thank you, Raiden. How are you?" she asked a more leading question. She knew he was in line for the vacant role she'd left and she saw him walk a little taller, which was nice to see.

"In shock at what happened? The transition of becoming well XO and my becoming Lieutenant Commander?" a somewhat bewildered expression appeared. "I just, don't know what to say." then he smiled. "Just wow, and why aren't you the XO anymore?"

"Clearly I look better in teal." Liala joked. She had set out some tea on the table next to a large sofa and two single comfortable chairs. She gestured to him to help himself if he wanted any. "The Captain believes in you Raiden, and that is something to be proud of. David can be quite frustrating in how he goes about things, I think that is the marine in him, but he stands by everyone he respects. So, be proud of yourself... I know I am." she said skirting over the question he had asked about why she'd stepped away from the position. Liala didn't want to take the focus off of him as he seemed to be in shock still of the sudden promotion.

Raiden paced for a few steps then decided to sit down to pour himself some tea. "Its just so sudden, but I'll be able to wrap my mind around it in a little while. Honestly he asked me what I saw for my future, I told him and then he just, well you know, told me about the promotion and I couldn't say no. I was touched, surprised, definitely in shock." Raiden stopped his babbling to sip at the tea, just to get himself to not keep going on.

"Adjustment always takes time." Liala smiled as she moved to sit across from him. She began to pour her own cup of tea as she listened to him talk of how he felt about it all. "The third pip suits you." she smiled as she watched him stop himself from talking by taking a drink. "Command will suit you. Sometimes it doesn't for everyone, but you, I can see will make and excellent first officer."

"Oh I truly hope so." Giving a grimace and clenching of his teeth. "All I can do is take my time and go one day to the next. I do know I will probably make some mistakes. Heaven help the ship." Raiden responded before another sip of his tea.

"That is what I did." Liala smiled at him. "To quote your species, if you make mistakes 'you are only Human'. No-one expects you do be perfect, so do not try to be. Just be you, that is enough. You are enough Raiden." she hoped that she was calming him a little but the next question she had to asked based on his new role, and that she cared for him.

"How are you sleeping?" she tenderly asked.

Raiden flashed a smile, "With my eyes closed, which is the best thing to do. If I tried to sleep with my eyes open I would be suffering from dry eyes, which wouldn't be too good." giving Ziyal a wink. He knew what she was asking but he wanted to kind of deflect away from that question. If only for a moment or two.

"I forgot you often use sarcastic wit as a defence mechanism." Liala returned the smile. She would not push, it was never her way, and she often found it to be detrimental to progress in any conversation both normal or about someone's mental state. "But okay then, aside from the promotion of rank and position... How are you?" she emphasised the word you. This also was a work around the sleeping question as it would still prove some insight.

"I had gotten into a discussion with a Dr. Lydia Whitlock and she's been delving into my brain activities, trying to figure out the why's and wherefores. Sleep... I told her that I didn't want anything to help me sleep. I will say I am sleeping better since I am not on the Arcadia anymore." Raiden finally answering Liala's question.

"Ah well I do not want to interfere with Dr Whitlock's delving into the depths and depravities of your mind." Liala smiled at him. "Sometimes medication is not always the answer. A change of surroundings and meditation are just as good a prescription as anything. I am glad you feeling better, getting some rest."

Raiden set his cup down, and ran his hands through his hair causing it to stick up. "Only some rest, I still have the dreams of Vereliza of being in my mind, and still drawing a blank as to where I met her. I have that blank loss of memory, and it is bugging me terribly." Raiden said with a huff. "Maybe I just need to go make a program and deal with it that way, of punching something."

"Maybe suggest to Dr Whitlock hypnotism? Sometimes the deep 'sleep' of that process can help access buried memories, thoughts and things like that." Liala suggested. She did not want to interfere with how things were going with her. "But a program to help you release the tension you feel, safely, is a good idea as well. I am glad you did not come in here swinging for the first person you saw."

"I wouldn't do that, especially to you." Raiden smiled gently then it faded away, "I don't want to do hypnosis, I don't think I am on that level of trust with her in that aspect." Raiden looking rather uncomfortable at that suggestion. "She is a lovely person but, I just can't even bring myself to make that sort of step." the man giving out a frustrated sigh.

"I can understand that. Hypnosis can be quite intimate, and you must be comfortable being open and vulnerable with the person doing it... in most cases. Just take things at your own pace. Counselling, talking, is patient led in most sessions. You are more than welcome to just come in and sit in a safe space if that is what you need." Liala's sparkling blue eyes caught the light and glinted beautifully as she looked over her cup as she took another sip of her tea.

Raiden regarded Liala for a moment or two then he spoke softly, "Now, if you were to be the one to do the hypnosis, I would be more willing. You and I connected early on." he swallowed down the lump that was forming in his throat, Raiden's breath was slightly shaky, fighting down the emotions that threatened to bust through the walls he placed up.

"And a trust has been built here, long before this ever occurred." Raiden added, motioning between the two of them.

"I am sure Doctor Whitlock and I can work together to help you if that is what you want. I am more than happy to perform the hypnosis. Although I think your transition to First Officer needs to be in place a little longer before I go psyche diving. Hypnosis can be quite invasive and other memories, and experiences, can sometimes bleed in." she gave him an honest answer. She never hid anything from her patients, even more so her friends, and she wanted him to go into this (no pun intended) with his eyes open.

"That sounds reasonable enough to me." Raiden feeling his worry lowering down. "This is certainly a mind boggling situation, and I would rather concentrate on my new position, bearing in mind though, that something will not be left uncared for either."

"You are right to focus on what you can control." Liala answered. "I find that Humans overthink things out with their own power, that can lead to anxiety, to worry and can impact performance. Concentrating on your new role as XO is perfect to help you move forward. It is nice to see." she smiled warmly at him.

A sip of his now luke warm tea, Raiden then nodded, " I do have other worries though, I don't know what I am going to do where personal relationships are concerned. I am feeling hesitant in pursuing any sort of - well getting closer to anyone, if that makes any sense. I am having a concern, about allowing anyone to touch my face. Veralyssa's actions seems to have made me a little bit hesitant in letting someone do so, including myself. I have found that my nerves jump when I touch those certain areas where she touched. And I can feel myself shake as well. How can I get over that? I have been making certain I deliberately make contact there but it is difficult."

"I think when it comes to personal relationships clear boundaries must be made. One between home life and work life. When you are on duty you are the XO, you need to be that person and the other should respect that. I wouldn't want you to feel you cannot pursue any because your position. You will know how to juggle it, it'll come with experience." Liala replied before moving onto the more serious comment.

"I think right now it is best to focus on areas of comfort, rather than force your body to react to unwanted stimulus. You can touch around the areas, work up to the areas more centrally." Liala said sipping her drink once more. "Think of it as re-educating, or reconditioning, your body after an injury. You have to get used to using it again, or getting it back to how you know it and that takes time, and most importantly, patience Raiden. You cannot be critical of yourself, you came through something and you push through every day. You should be proud."

"All I can do is to keep pushing forward." Raiden responded with a grim expression. "I'll try to be patient with myself but... I am someone who just wants to better themselves and granted, I can be impatient at times. Maybe even more impatient now." He sighed "I know there isn't a magic pill I can take and have things be all better. It doesn't work that way. "

"If there was a magic pill, I'd be out of a job." she joked trying to lift his spirits. "I mean do you really want me off the ship? Gone from your life... forever?!" she said dramatically.

"Heavens no, I don't want you to leave the ship, at all." a tangible sense of worry drifted through Raiden. There was a bit of a connection one that had developed between he and Liala when they first met, and she played her music. And honestly, Raiden had to admit to himself now, he had a crush on Liala but felt he needed to put that feeling in a box, as he had just barely arrived on the ship. Which seemed so long ago.

"Well that's good." She smiled. "You are stuck with me." Liala added as she felt a swell of emotion come from Raiden. It was familiarity, it was comfort as he looked at her. There was warmth that came from more than friendship but a resignation to it never being acted upon. "For what its worth, I think the ship would be in terrible shape if it lost you more than me. You do tend to brighten up any room you walk in." she placed a hand on his shoulder.

The latter part of Liala's comment caused Raiden's eyebrow to raise. "Honestly, Liala I would disagree with you. You don't realize how much your presence is important on the ship. Don't you realize you brighten up the room, when you walk in?" giving her a rather intense gaze, "You have that quiet, soft demeanor that sends a wave of healing, that subtly permeates the air. If you were to leave, there would be a sense of loss. I would feel the loss and I believe others would feel it as well." he reached out to touch her hand.

"Please don't even make it sound like you are not important to the ship. Everyone is important on this ship. I'm just one of the wheel cogs that maybe helps to keep things running. And you are important to me." his voice growing husky with emotions that threatened to rise once more. Raiden pulled his hand away releasing Liala's. He was fighting for sense of calmness at this moment. That session with Doctor Whitlock, just having to face head on the emotions that welled up, he felt raw, however he needed to talk to Liala, just to help ease things. It was helping, Raiden however didn't want to break down and feel like he was crying uncontrollably again. Raiden already had his cry.

Liala felt the waves of emotion come from Raiden. She gestured for him to stand and with some hesitation he did, his eyes questioning the reason. Moving in closer and she wrapped her arms around him and brought their bodies a little closer. Placing her hand on the back of his head she made him place it on her shoulder, the height difference making that much easier. "You definitely need one of these."

Raiden's arms went around Liala, accepting the embrace and giving one in turn to her, leaning his head on her shoulder A slight sigh arose from Raiden as it seemed a part of him relaxed.

"Thank you Liala, I appreciate this." Raiden uttered, his voice raspy with emotions. The embrace also helped him to quell the emotional storm that was there. A deep shuddering sigh, and Raiden allowed himself a momentary smile, removing his arms from around her. "Thank you for sending a ray of sunlight in, piercing through my dark clouds."

"Thank you for trusting me to come and see me." Liala said getting quite emotional herself. The feelings from Raiden had transferred somewhat onto her and a tear fell from each of her eyes. One of her gifts was emotional transference, a trait of her species and a rare one at that, but it made her an excellent counsellor and amazing friend to have in your pocket on gloomy days.

Wiping the tears from her cheeks, "Sorry, that is quite unprofessional of me." she said with a little laugh.

"I don't think it is unprofessional, it just means you are a someone who has a strong degree of empathy." Raiden giving a small smile. "I am sorry to have caused you some distress. I do feel much better though." his voice quiet and low. "I think that perhaps I should best take my leave, I am feeling a tad wiped out, perhaps I can get some sleep tonight."

"I would be a poor counsellor if I didn't." she said more so to herself than anything. "You didn't cause me distress, Raiden, and I am happy that you are leaving feeling even a little bit better. Go, get some rest. If you need me, you know where I am." she squeezed his shoulder a little.

"Indeed I do know where you are." Raiden giving a smile. "I'll see you later one." squaring his shoulders and then headed out of the office. Pausing once more to look at Liala and giving a wave, then the door closed behind him.

Liala found herself watching him as he left, her eyes drifted a little lower than she'd expected them to and she snapped back up as he waved goodbye. She gave a little weak wave as the doors closed and she let out a breath she felt she had been holding since he came in.

Guess it was back to work...