Echoes of the Past: A Captain's Reflection

Posted on Mon Jul 8th, 2024 @ 4:27pm by Commander Liala Ziyal & Captain David Hawkins

Mission: The Gamma Expanse
Location: Counselling Offices
1514 words - 3 OF Standard Post Measure

Captain David Hawkins walked slowly through the corridors of the U.S.S. Gladiator, his footsteps echoing softly against the carpeted floors. His mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, the remnants of his dreams and nightmares from the past few nights lingering like shadows in the corners of his consciousness.

The dreams had been vivid, haunting in their intensity. Images flashed before his eyes as he walked, snippets of memory and imagination blending together in a surreal tapestry. Faces long gone, voices echoing from the depths of his subconscious, and the weight of responsibility pressing down on him like a leaden cloak.

He couldn't shake the feeling of unease that gnawed at him, the sense that there was something lurking just beyond the edge of his awareness. His nights had been restless, filled with fragmented visions that left him feeling drained and unsettled come morning.

As he neared the end of the corridor, Hawkins paused, his hand hovering over the door to Counselor Liala Ziyal's office. He hesitated for a moment, a flicker of uncertainty crossing his features before he squared his shoulders and pushed the door open.

The office beyond was a sanctuary of calm, the soft lighting and muted colors providing a soothing contrast to the chaos of his thoughts. Hawkins stepped inside, the weight of his burdens easing slightly as he settled into the chair opposite Commander Ziyal's desk.

"Counselor," he greeted her, his voice quiet yet tinged with a hint of urgency. "I hope you're not too busy."

Liala had been quite busy of late. The crew were uneasy, maybe even unnerved of late and to be honest she could say she felt the same a little but thankfully she always kept a good check on her own mental health.

Sometimes the crews mood hit her in waves. Being an empath on a ship that was full of emotion could be quite exhausting at times and she did her best to maintain her cheery disposition and always welcome people with a smile and a safe space to be themselves, to be safe.

David sat down in front of her, the emotion emanating off him strong and clear. Not to mention the little bags under his eyes from what she would deem to be not sleeping and possibly working himself too hard. He'd not changed over all the time she'd known him.

"I'm never too busy for you sir." she stood slightly as he sat. "Is everything alright? You look tired David." she said with a tone of familiarity and care. There was a certain part of her that missed the man. He used to chat with her a lot more in the past.

"If I told you once, I told you a million times... you do not need to call me 'sir'," the captain explained as he looked at her for a short moment before sighing before requesting to sit without speaking with his hand and their eye contact. After getting her typical nod with a smile, he plopped down on the couch and sighed. "When have I ever not looked tired, Counselor."

Liala chuckled softly. "I can't help it sometimes." she replied as she watched his sit. The tension in his shoulders clear, the stiffness in his body and the fact he didn't quite relax as he sat in her rather comfy couch. "You'll look more than tired if you keep calling me counsellor." she teased a little in the same vein as her calling him sir. Plus given they used to be 'familiar' she was a bit more comfortable with him than most who came to see her.

"Call it formality. Force of habit," He countered with a smirk and a sigh. The captain blinked a short bit before looking at her. "I am happy you are free, but I don't like the idea of dealing talking about these things."

Liala nodded. "As a commanding officer, former marine and general hard man to read I can understand your hesitance." she began. "But I can't help you if you don't talk to me. If you don't want to talk about what's brought you here you can just talk about whatever you want? Relax yourself into it?"

David nodded, appreciating Liala's understanding. "Fair enough," he conceded. "It's just... the dreams, Liala. They've been getting worse. More vivid, more... unsettling."

"And what happens in these dreams?" Liala asked. "If you could pick the most vivid of them and tell me a bit about them? They say dreams are a window into our subconscious desires... if you believe that theory." she smiled at her own words.

David shifted uncomfortably in his seat, grappling with the weight of his words. "They're like echoes of the past, mixed with glimpses of a future I can't quite comprehend," he admitted, his voice strained. "Faces of fallen comrades, battles lost... and something darker, lurking just out of reach."

"It's like I'm trapped in a maze of memories and nightmares," he continued, his gaze distant. "And no matter how hard I try, I can't find my way out."

The weight of his words were not lost on Liala. He was definitely going through some crisis of confidence, even if he didn't realise it. A fixation of negative connotations such as lost in a maze, seeing faces of fallen friends, battles he had lost and the impending sense of darkness... it was all familiar.

Liala had seen a score of people who had been describing similar feelings and oddly a very descriptive feeling of feeling lost in a maze. It was odd that so many had the same feeling and described it in a similar fashion.

"When you are in this maze, what does it look like?" she asked trying to gain insight and see if it was similar to the other people she'd seen. "Sights, sounds, even smells can be remembered from nightmares. Dreams are rarely remembered if they are pleasant sadly."

David Hawkins shifted uncomfortably in his chair, his expression tightening slightly as he considered Liala's question. It was not a topic he had intended to discuss openly, but her probing had a way of cutting through his defenses.

"The maze..." he began slowly, his voice carrying a weight of uncertainty. "It's like being trapped in a labyrinth of shadows, twisting and turning endlessly. There's no way out, no light to guide you. Just darkness closing in from all sides."

As he spoke, memories of his nightmares flooded his mind, each one more vivid than the last. He could almost smell the acrid scent of burning wreckage, hear the echoes of battle cries ringing in his ears. It was a nightmare he couldn't escape, no matter how hard he tried.

"And the faces..." he continued, his voice growing softer. "They're faces of my fallen comrades, staring back at me with accusing eyes. They haunt me, Liala. Every time I close my eyes, I see them."

He paused, taking a moment to collect himself before continuing. "I don't know what it all means, but it feels like I'm being pulled deeper into the darkness with each passing night. Like there's something waiting for me there, something I can't escape."

Liala moved forward and took his hands in hers. An act that was an attempt at comfort, hands he knew, and also to bring him back into the present more firmly. "I know you've seen a lot during your service and I don't for a second claim to know what that is like." she squeezed his hands.

"I want you to try something. When you think of a memory that contains a loss, may that be the loss of a comrade or loss of a mission I want you to try and replace it with something positive. You have saved lives, try to think of them and maybe they'll fill your dreams and be the light you need to navigate the maze of your mind." Liala offered. "Or there are more conventional routes such as hypnotherapy, maybe even medication that can relax you more before you sleep."

David nodded slowly, his brow furrowed as he absorbed her words. "I'll... give it a try," he replied tentatively, his voice betraying a mix of reluctance and uncertainty. "It's... worth a shot, right?"

"Absolutely," Liala agreed warmly, her voice gentle yet encouraging. "You don't have to face this alone, David. We're all here to support you, every step of the way."

A faint, fleeting smile touched David's lips for the first time in days. "Thank you, Liala," he murmured quietly. "I appreciate it more than you know."

Liala returned his smile, her eyes reflecting genuine care. "That's what I'm here for, David. Now, take a deep breath and try to let go of some of that weight you're carrying. You're not alone in this."

With a renewed sense of determination, David stood, feeling a slight but noticeable lift in the heavy fog that had clouded his mind. As he left Liala's office, he couldn't help but feel a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, the darkness would begin to recede.